


Levi x Erwin Headcanons :p

by mooninthewoods



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Headcanon, Inspired by Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Levi Ackerman Needs a Hug, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith Fluff, Past Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Stargazing, Titans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29972073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooninthewoods/pseuds/mooninthewoods
Summary: some things that i'm pretty sure happened in the good ol' days
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoë, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so...idk this is my first time writing Eruri and idk how i did i guess these are some thing i imagine happening. might continue this if some of u like it :')

☾ chair tipping

Levi has MASTERED the art of chair tipping. During meetings he will outright just test his limits, one time Erwin notices him, and their gazes catch each other. Levi is dumbfounded and falls back, hitting his back hard again the floor. Everyone in the meeting (important people at that) turns to stare at him. He’s never been so embarrassed in his life, and unless you paid perfect attention to Erwin, you wouldn’t have seen him almost choke from laughter. 

☾ aloof

Levi likes tall places, it lets him relax having full view of what’s happening, a part of him needs it to feel safe. At night, he would climb out his window and sit on the roof, even if it was freezing. It felt like his safe space. One night, Erwin is walking back to his rooms late at night and for the first time, notices Levi’s shadow on the roof. Of course, he knew that silhouette in less than a second. He looks up to see Levi with his knees up to his chest and arms around his knees, he’s staring deeply at the horizon, but he’s not really seeing it. He’s too deep in thought, Erwin would go as far as to say he looked aloof. He knows that as a member of the Survey Corps, it’s never good to be inside your head too long. “Levi! Who let you be on the roof this late?” He calls, fake stern. Levi snaps from his thoughts like a whip and looks down at Erwin with those dark eyes. “Who’s gonna stop me?” 

☾ smiling

Levi doesn’t smile often, everyone knows that…except him. Until one day Erwin brings it up. They’re drinking tea in Erwin’s office after a long day, Hange and Moblit are chatting away eagerly about some new discovery that doesn’t seem to interest Levi in the slightest. “Titans smile, Erwin! Don’t you find that fascinating? You would think that with their lack of emotional intelligence they wouldn’t really feel anything, but I think I’ve cracked the code when they do this…” she went on to recreate a Titan expression that looked awfully familiar. Erwin laughed deep in his throat and looked at an unamused Levi. “Hange, you’re telling me that Titans smile, and Levi can’t even twitch his mouth upwards?” Moblit laughed at that and Levi looked the tiniest bit amused. “Well yeah, I’ve been trying to study other breeds of mammals but Levi doesn’t match any of the descriptions” That got a glare from the shorter man. “I smile” Levi said, shrugging, gaining an incredulous look from the three of his friends. “Yeah? When?” Moblit asked, voicing all of their thoughts. Levi squirmed in his seat, trying to remember the last time he willingly smiled at someone in public. “When you can’t see me” 

☾ stargazing

After one particularly ugly expedition outside the walls, Erwin and Levi go out to a small forest away from everyone, to just be alone. They enjoy each other’s company because, even though they’re together, neither feel pressured to make the other feel comfortable. They can just be. Recently, the both of them have preferred each other’s company than being alone, especially Levi. Simply because he feels so lonely. Even though he’s been alone and lonely for most of his life, it never got easier. He could never get used to it. Erwin sits down with a tired sigh on the grass. His head shoots up to the dark freckled sky. Levi notices him for a minute before sitting down. Close enough that they can feel each other’s presence, but not close enough to touch. They were both supporting their backs with their hands. Levi could almost feel Erwin’s. The grass was dry, thankfully. They stayed in silence for a while, Levi found his heart beat speed up with every soft breath that Erwin took. The odd sensation grasped his being and he couldn’t make it disappear. It felt like anxiety, but it wasn’t the same. “Levi” Erwin said softly, his voice was smooth and tender. It made every bone in Levi’s body want to kiss him and run away at the same time. Kiss him? Levi stepped on that thought and pushed it as far away as possible. “Yes” he turned to look at his friend, finding his eyes were already there to meet his. “What do you know about constellations?” Levi didn’t really understand the word. “Nothing”. Normally he would be embarrassed or too arrogant to admit that he didn’t know something…but this was Erwin. None of his rules applied when it came to Erwin. The blonde smiled, a private smile, and he laid on his back, pointing a long finger to small freckles in the sky that Levi had never thought meant something. After a few hours of Erwin explaining the entire visible sky to Levi, they found comfortable silence once again. Their bodies had neared each other without letting them know. Levi’s thighs were touching Erwin’s, but neither had noticed, their minds were too occupied with other things. “Why do they…why do they make them constellations?” Levi asked, the thought had been bugging him from the start. “What do you mean?” Erwin turned his head, their eyes meeting again. Levi felt shy under his gaze, it made him weak. “Why do they feel the need to connect the stars? Why not just let them be on their own?” It felt like a stupid question, and Levi felt like a child. Erwin didn’t seem to think so, as he stared at Levi with something like…curiosity? Maybe understanding. “I don’t know, I guess it just makes it easier…people don’t like being alone you know.” Erwin said, his tone said more than his words. “The stars aren’t people” Levi said, staring at the dots in the sky, wondering how the hell Erwin memorized so many. “No, they aren’t, but the ones who named them, gave them stories, all that where.” 

☾ arguments and an overhearing Hange 

“Levi!” Erwin yelled at the top of his lungs. They were just outside Wall Maria, when more than a dozen titans closed in on the entire team. Formations broke, people died, and Levi Ackerman was being too stubborn to retreat. He’d already slaughtered four titans, even after Erwin had ordered him not to break formation. Erwin knew what he was doing, Levi was giving them time, he was probably the only person that could do that and survive. The captain was showing no signs of stopping. Levi was an intimidating person, but the only time that Erwin was slightly scared of him was when they were outside the walls. He got that furious look in his eyes, Erwin felt like he could slaughter him without thinking twice of it. He was filled with too much rage for that small body. “Levi! Retreat, that’s an order!” the fifth titan fell, with a small earthquake, and Levi was on his horse before Erwin could yell more. Half an hour later, they were back safely in the Survey Corps’ building. Erwin yanked Levi inside his office, angrily slamming the door. “Levi, when I give an order, you follow it! The first time!” He said, his voice sounding authoritative. Levi stared back at him with frozen eyes. “People were going to get eaten! If I had followed your stupid order you might have died!” Levi spat, the rage from before still haunted his eyes. “You could’ve died. Don’t you think that would be a stupid way to die? Dying for not following a simple order?!” Erwin matched his raised tone. “Everybody dies, if you haven’t noticed! In one way or another, no death is stupid or smart, it’s just death! It’s mandatory!” Levi took a step forward, coming dangerously close to his Commander. Erwin looked as if he wanted to slap some sense into him, Kenny would have beaten the shit out of him, when that thought surfaced Levi couldn’t help but make himself smaller. “Look at you two! Arguing like an old married couple! You’re like my parents…this feels like home. Please continue!” Hange Zoë was leaning against Erwin’s doorframe, her usual smile tainting her face. She looked too pleased for Levi. He stormed out the room, bumping harshly into four eyes first. His rage was still there, but something about Hange’s comment made him smirk on his way to his room. He never disobeyed an order from Erwin again.


	2. more emotional ones.

☾ levi realizes he feels something for Erwin 

It’s another regular evening, Levi is helping Erwin out with some paper work concerning new gear. It’s really just adding useless things like dates and signatures. They’ve done this countless of times. They don’t need small talk to make the environment comfortable but Erwin doesn’t like silence on some occasions. Believe it or not, they gossip. Levi hears everything, since most people assume he isn’t really interested in the conversation, they won’t even bother to lower their voices. Erwin doesn’t like bad gossip, but his soldiers’ lives always interested him. He’s divided on wanting to know everything about them or nothing at all. If he doesn’t know anything, when they die, they’ll just be another name. That’s also the negative aspect of not knowing. Levi goes on about how he saw Moblit make a move on Hange and they were utterly clueless about it, he almost laughs, even though it’s more of a scoff, as he remembers Moblit’s disappointed face. “I bet they’ll date by the end of the year” Erwin says, a small smile on his face. Levi raises an eyebrow looking at him as if he was the dumbest person alive. “No, they won’t, have you met four eyes? The only thing they find interesting is a titan.” Levi says, thinking on weather Hange has even loved someone in their life. “Don’t think so lowly of them” Erwin starts to say, as he reaches to the other side of his desk to grab a paper. The paper is next to Levi’s hand. “They’re more than capable of human connection” his long hand brushes ever so slightly Levi’s smaller hand. Oh. Oh, no. It feels like a breeze, soft, cold, fleeting. A complete accident that should mean nothing at all. In less than a second Erwin is back to signing the page and Levi’s heart is on his throat. His blood turned cold and he resist the urge to slap himself across the face. He shifts in his chair and stares at his paper as if humanity depended on it. He instantly forgot they were having a conversation and his mind went blank. He couldn’t think straight it was all just a blur of emotions. He’s not aware of the time passing until Erwin seems to shake him awake with his voice. “What?” Levi asks, when he sees Erwin’s questioning glance. “It’s late, you should go” Erwin says quietly. The words would sting, but Levi is thinking too much about other things. Without another word, he turns on his heel and walks quickly to his room. As soon as his head touches the pillow, he realizes there would be no sleep coming. His heart is thumping hardly against his chest and the sensation feels oddly like being in front of a ten-meter titan. 

☾ touch 

Levi hates being touched, but he’s also touch starved. Subtly brushes of skin with his friends and members of the Survey Corps, make him flinch involuntarily and make his skin feel alien to his own body. He’s gotten used to it, considering he’s always been like this. But his heart, his mind, sometimes wanted to feel protected by the arms of others. He had to protect humanity, but who would protect him? In recent months, in which he’d seen almost all of his friends die, he’d begun to allow certain, very exclusive touches. Half hugs from Hange, they would do them anyway, even if Levi broke their nose, so there was no use in trying to evade them. A nice grip on the shoulder from Erwin, when he wanted to show pride or make him calm down. A nudge from Mike or Petra, those weren’t awful. He allowed that, but what he really wanted, he would never allow. That’s why, when the moon was up in the night sky and there wasn’t a single sound in the Survey Corps building, and everything was still, and he felt utterly alone, he felt the need to wrap his own arms against himself, with his knees close to his chest. It got lonely, no matter what he did. Sometimes it felt too much, he almost felt like crying because that empty space in his heart would never fill…and he felt so alone. One of those many nights, it got too much, he got desperate. Without changing from his pajamas, he walked quietly towards a familiar office. He spent most of his time there. The familiar soft yellow light was ablaze. If Erwin ever slept, Levi didn’t notice. He was inhuman like that, never seeming tired. He turned the knob slowly, as if that would give Erwin enough time to kick him out. When the door was open, he stood there leaning against the door with his arms across his chest, waiting for Erwin to say something, to realize he was even there. The blonde commander was writing as if his life depended on it. When he finished a sentence, he looked satisfied at the paper and finally looked up at Levi. “Are you going to stand there all night?” he asked with a small smile. Levi rolled his eyes, but closed the door behind him and sat on Erwin’s couch. Levi felt Erwin’s eyes on him, he always felt like he was being analyzed. Not in the way Hange did, but in a way that felt like Erwin was trying to understand. “Do you need anything?” Erwin asked, his voice wasn’t expectant, like he knew exactly why Levi was there. “No” Levi said simply. A part of him felt stupid for coming here, but he felt glad to melt that space in his heart for a minute. “Do you even sleep?” Levi asked. Erwin stood up, took two long steps and found Levi on his couch. He sat down closer than necessary, but not close enough to mean anything. “I sleep…do you?” he said matter of factly. Levi shrugged, his elbow brushing so slightly with Erwin’s. He pretended not to notice and kept it there. Silence overtook them once again and Levi was left with his racing mind. It didn’t bug him too much, Erwin’s presence made him forget about the loneliness. They got closer with the ticking of the clock, until Levi’s head was almost resting on his commander’s shoulder. “Levi?” Erwin said softly. “Did you come here because you couldn’t sleep…or was it something else?” Normally, he would’ve avoided the question, faked annoyance. But, how could he? Erwin was so close, he could feel their heartbeats, he would give his heartbeat to Erwin if he asked. “I was lonely” Levi said, his tone not faltering in the slightest. Even though the words meant a lot to him, he forgot the last time he’d opened up to someone, even if it was just a simple sentence like that. Erwin nodded, not really knowing what to say. Levi’s hand was so close, just resting there showing scarred pale wrists. Erwin stared at it. If you have no words, show. His mother’s ghostly voice said in his mind. Mustering up all the courage he could, he reached other and intertwined their fingers, squeezing a little. Levi’s smaller hand didn’t give in to the embrace at first, just letting Erwin hold it. When he noticed that Erwin wasn’t going to let go, he closed his hand, getting closer to Erwin, his head almost on his chest. “Are you lonely now?” Erwin whispered. “No” Levi said, letting his eyes close softly. 

☾ erwin’s books

Many sleepless nights were spent in Erwin’s office. They were both tired, but sleep wouldn’t come until dawn. Erwin read books faster than anything Levi had ever seen, he seemed to be in another world, completely involved in it. He got the same spark in his eyes Levi saw when he was about to announce a new tactic. Levi stared at the ceiling, and at Erwin, and pretended to be bored. He studied the way Erwin sat, the way he reacted to each situation the book was providing, and by the end of the night, Levi felt like he had read some of the book himself. “Why do you like that so much?” Levi asked, his voice was rough from misuse, they’ve been in this position for hours. Erwin turned his body to Levi but his eyes didn’t meet him until a few moments later when the page was finished. “Reading?” he asked, looking at Levi with that gaze that felt like being poured spring over your heart. Levi nodded, not trusting his voice to stay steady under his gaze. “It’s another world, I get to see what this could be…you should try it sometime” Levi looks at the deep crimson cover. It has a simple golden tree and a name at the bottom. It’s beautiful in every sense of the word. “Doesn’t that…doesn’t it make the pain worse? To see what could’ve been, to see all the things that aren’t?” That had always been the main reason Levi tried to avoid the arts, singing, music, books, poetry, anything that could speak of hope, of something different. It just made him realize how shitty his life was, how good other peoples could be…even if they were fictional. Erwin’s eyes turned soft, almost pained for a second. “I suppose it does. I disappear into books when I was very young, I forget what it felt like to be…satisfied with reality. I always needed more; books provided a small haven for a while. Maybe they made it worse in the end, changing reality is the only thing I can think about now.” He gave Levi a small smile. “I’m glad you found books then, someone had to stop conforming to this hell”. Levi said, it had felt like an intimate compliment in his brain. “Do you want to read it?” Erwin asked, he never, ever lent books, but his heart spoke before his throat could stop him. “I’m too tired to read. I’ll probably hate this world more than I do now if my hands ever landed on that book, I wouldn’t know what to do.” Erwin seemed to understand. “Some stories are just as hellish, some are worse than our world” he said, shadows clouding the swimming pools in his eyes. “Read those to me then.” Levi was taken aback from his own honesty. It felt stupid to say such a thing, but it slipped. Erwin’s voice calmed him down more than anything, and he would be lying if he said he hadn’t fallen asleep many nights, remembering some of their conversations. Erwin gave him a knowing look and opened a few drawers, before finally stumbling on the what seemed to be the perfect treasure. It was such an old book, Levi wondered if it was even legal. The book was falling apart. Erwin cleared his throat. “My father was a king and the son of kings.” Erwin begun, and Levi closed his eyes, picturing every word that came out of his mouth. “He was a short man, as most of us were, and built like a bull, all shoulders. He married my mother when she was fourteen and sworn by the priestess to be fruitful. It was a good match: she was an only child, and her father's fortune would go to her husband.” Erwin read until Levi felt the lightest ray of sunshine touch his face. As Levi felt sleep coming to take him, he understood why Erwin liked the pages so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :P dedicating this chapter to siriusblackswife aka mikasa ackerman aka emma sorry for keeping u awake


	3. levi letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey so i think that Levi would write down his thoughts and feelings, since he doesn't really have anyone to say them to, and it sometimes gets too much. he secretly likes writing, but always ends up destroying the paper that he wrote on because he doesn't want anyone to know. sooooo this is a letter a think he would write about Erwin :p

_I’m writing this because I have no one to say it to, and it’s slowly driving me insane. I really don’t want to make this weird, but you’re my…friend and I feel like you should know. I know we might not see each other in the same way, because I see you as one of the closets people to me, who am I kidding? You are the closest person I’ve ever had in my life. I genuinely can’t think of another person that makes me equally as happy. I didn’t want to say this because I don’t want to make it weird, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable and distance yourself from me. That would break me, I’ve been broken too many times and I can’t go through it again, I really don’t feel like I’d survive it. I have so much trouble making human connections, I feel like you know that, but when you came around, it was only a few weeks before I was beginning to think that you might get me. We’ve talked a few times, in your office late at night; I’ve never felt like that for someone. I didn’t even know what it was. The things I told you, I hadn’t told anyone, because I thought no one would be interested in them. They were small things, but you listened, I still can’t believe that you listened. I don’t want to scare you and use big words but I think I’m… I don’t even know what I’m feeling. I know it’s too complicated, the world is too complicated, you and I, we are too complicated, and I know these are my insecurities talking but I can’t help them. I don’t expect the feelings to be reciprocated, I think I’ve never expected anything from anyone in my life. I never felt like I was good enough, maybe not good enough, but I don’t feel like I’m a lovable person. I’m a difficult person to love, and I get that. Some part of me always expected to be alone, and I didn’t mind it. I really didn’t. But then you came around, you ruined it all in the best way possible. Now I can’t stand the loneliness, I feel like my heart is being tortured. The only time I don’t feel alone is when I’m talking to you. I don’t know if it’s love, and it feels stupid to think that it might be, but I think that maybe…_

_Speak to you soon, Levi_

☾


	4. erwins letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :'/

_Levi, I dreamt of my life. You told me that the stories in the books would only pain me, I won’t lie and tell you they didn’t. They made me dream about my life, about what it could have been. When I dreamt those unreachable dreams, I saw you. I saw us. We never said it, but I know we both knew. I wanted to spend the rest of my days next to you. In some remote place, next to a river, an ocean, wherever. I just wanted to stare into the light, the light that reflected into the trees, the light that got rid of the dark. I wanted to know how it felt, that thing they call peace. All my life I’ve wondered if it was a made-up concept, because it didn’t feel real. But there was one day, not long ago, you fell asleep next to me, and when I woke up, I forgot who I was, who I was supposed to be. I forgot everything for a few minutes. There wasn’t anything else. Maybe I tasted heaven that day, if I did, I can’t wait to die. If you’re reading this, I suppose my dream didn’t come true. It doesn’t matter though, we’ll get heaven someday, Levi, I’m sure of it. We suffered too much not to. Maybe this was our hell. If you’re reading this alone, wherever you are, I love you, I love you as I always did, I love you as I always will. No one got closer to my soul, than you did. Wherever you are, I am with you. Goodbye_

_-Yours truly, Erwin_


End file.
